WARNING!

Sports Illustrated is reporting that the New York state health department lists Capture the flag, freeze tag, kickball and Wiffle Ball as activities that pose a "significant risk of injury" to children.

Thank you to the fine state of New York and our uber-litigious nation for helping to make our kids the fattest in history.

Have you been injured at recess!? Call your parents right away and tell them to call me right away! I'm Joe Joykill, Personal Injury Lawyer!

HURT AT PLAY? MAKE 'EM PAY!

CALL (800) PLAY-NOT!