Hidden within the whirlwind of coverage on the death and life of Michael Jackson, is a very sad truth. He was never allowed a childhood and the results were disastrous in terms of his development. He is a tragic figure because of the incredible juxtaposition of his stellar professional life and his pathetic personal life.
Robert Holden wrote in his book
Laughter the Best Medicine, "Play is the ideal preparation for life. As a child, play is at once both frivolously fun and profoundly serious. Early childhood is an adventure of discovery. Play is a form of learning. The child who does not play, therefore, or who is not allowed to play, runs the risk of a serious setback in life. This setback will manifest itself physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually."
Michael Jackson was forced to sacrifice his crucial developmental, formative years, when play helps to mold a child's self-esteem and build life skills, for highly regimented, structured work. Rehearse, perform, promote, rehearse, perform, promote. He was told to be an adult at 5.
Here's an excerpt from his interview with Oprah in 1993:
Michael: I would do my schooling which was three hours with a tutor and right after that I would go to the recording studio and record, and I'd record for hours and hours until it's time to go to sleep. And I remember going to the record studio and there was a park across the street and I'd see all the children playing and I would cry because it would make me sad that I would have to work instead.
Oprah: Was there ever a place where - because you know children - because I remember talking to myself and playing with my dolls - was there...and I think every child needs a place to escape into, a child's world, a child's imagination, was there ever a time you could do that?
Michael: No. And that is why I think because I didn't have it then, I compensate for that. People wonder why I always have children around, because I find the thing that I never had through them, you know Disneyland, amusement parks, arcade games. I adore all that stuff because when I was little it was always work, work, work from one concert to the next. If it wasn't a concert it was the recording studio, if it wasn't that it was TV shows or picture sessions. There was always something to do.
Oprah: Did you feel - Smokey Robinson said this about you, and you have so many other people, that you were like an old soul in a little body.
Michael: I remember hearing that all the time when I was little. They used to call me a 45 year-old midget wherever I went. I just used to hear that and wherever I went...just like when some people said when you were little and you started to sing did you know you were that good? And I say I never thought about it, I just did it and it came out. I never thought about it really.
Oprah: So here you were, Michael Jackson, you all had hits, you all had so many hits - four hits in a row - and you were crying because you couldn't be like other kids.
Michael: Well, I loved show business and I still love show business, but then there are times you just want to play and have some fun and that part did make me sad. I remember one time we were getting ready to go to South America and everything was packed up and in the car ready to go and I hid and I was crying because I really did not want to go, I wanted to play. I did not want to go.
Studies show that play deprivation can cause kids to grow into anxious, maladjusted adults. Is there any better description for the off-stage Michael Jackson? Has there ever been anyone so pathetically consumed with capturing a lost childhood? Anyone more stunted in their development?
Lack of play is not the only contributing factor to Michael Jackson's sad story. His father, Joseph Jackson admitted in a 2003 interview with the BBC that he whipped his son as a child. Michael was teased about is appearance, bullied by his father, forced to perform music in strip clubs, etc., etc., etc. He was abused
and deprived of play. It's important to distinguish highly beneficial unstructured play with "playing baseball year round when you're 10 years old, so you can make the big leagues" or "playing music every day for 3 hours so you can make it on
The Ed Sullivan Show." Kids forced to play out their parent's fantasies and live up to their parents unrelenting expectations think that their
only worth comes from performing the task their parents tell them to do. Do you think Michael Jackson, who was addicted to plastic surgery, suffered personally from lack of self-esteem? Was there anyone more comfortable on-stage and any more awkward and stunted off it?
For young children, play is king. That alluded the king of pop with tragic consequences. A more poignant cautionary tale would be hard to find.
I still get a rush when I walk into a store and see a game that I worked on there among the choices. I helped Scott Dotson, the inventor of BagGames, license his creation to Imagination Games. Less than a year later and here they are in a Barnes & Noble store in Marlton, NJ. How cool is that?
